Hef's Little Black Book

May 1, 2004
One might think that a book containing Playboy mogul Hefner's sex tips, musings and memories would be racy, bawdy, or at the very least engrossing--but there's little that's particularly sexy or insightful in this slim volume. Hefner and coauthor Zehme narrate in an off-putting third-person (presumably to allow Hefner to be referred to as" the master," and to allow for such sentences as"And so one man created two houses and all men would forever want to go to these houses, to be inside," and"He is remarkable in his ability to stay friends with former lovers, and inspiring as well..."). Even the sex stories are pretty tame by today's standards--with videos of celebrity couplings readily available online, will any reader be shocked to read that Hefner has had sex with multiple partners simultaneously? Little revelations, such as the translation of the Latin plaque outside his ballroom ("If you don't swing, don't ring") or Hef's baby-oil fetish ("Row upon row of Johnson's baby oil bottles standing sentry, awaiting the master's next urge") fail to titillate. Interspersed with happy recollections of rotating beds, Mansion Movie Nights and famous pals are ersatz pearls of Hefner wisdom ("Your pad--or your crib, as it's now called--is key"), and sidebars on everything from reading a woman by her hair color (brunettes make suitable wives and mothers, while blondes and redheads are mysterious and dangerous) to"Hef's Music to Woo By." Only Hef's fans--and certainly there are many--will appreciate this. 80 full-color photos.