I'm the Vampire, That's Why

August 7, 2006
When Jessica Matthews, a suburban divorcée and mother of two, gets savagely attacked one night by a werewolf, she awakens to find herself sucking blood from the thigh of 4,000-year-old vampire Patrick O'Halloran. He explains that the only way to have kept her from dying was to turn her into a vampire like himself. Now Jessica finds herself recruited to hunt the rampaging Lycan, who may be Patrick's brother, alongside Patrick and the mysterious paranormal organization called the Consortium. Bardsley has done considerable research into Celtic legends in order to create her vampire society, but her research doesn't make for a successful book. Rather than giving us, as the title would suggest, a satirical look at a soccer mom turned "sucker mom" attempting to balance normal daily life with a most abnormal nightlife, Bardsley focuses on Jessica's explicit sexual longing for Patrick and the mundane conflict between the Consortium and their evil counterparts, the Wraith. Though amusing at times, the meat of this vampire tale is oddly bloodless.