Where Was Goodbye?

March 15, 2024
A high school senior in Nassau, Bahamas, struggles to readjust to life after a tragedy. Seventeen-year-old Karmen Wallace can't stop thinking about her older brother, Julian. Six weeks before the start of the school year, Julian died by suicide. No one in her family can make sense of his passing: Why would Julian--a smart college student bursting with potential--end his life? How long had he been carrying so much pain? Karmen feels like she's the only person in her family who wants to understand Julian's death. Her father stubbornly advocates for routine; her mother is a husk of her former self. Karmen's sure that if she investigates Julian's past, she can fix her broken family. But when a fellow student makes a thoughtless comment about death, Karmen "snaps," hurling a ball and accidentally smashing the school chemistry lab's window. As a consequence, the principal places her on a mandatory three-week leave in order "to heal." During this time at home, Karmen digs deeper into Julian's final days, only to discover more questions. In her third novel for young adults, Mather poignantly explores the delicate bonds of sibling relationships. She writes about depression and anxiety without judgment, and her depiction of Karmen's survivor's guilt--a potent mixture of emotions that form a heavy cloud of grief--is handled with considerable nuance and empathy. A moving look at a sister's flawed, heartfelt attempts to heal in the wake of emotional devastation. (trigger warning, resources) (Fiction. 14-18)

COPYRIGHT(2024) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

April 1, 2024

Gr 8 Up-This novel starts with a trigger warning from the author, and it's a necessary kindness. It is rough. At times the intense sorrow is an insurmountable obstacle, tangible, permeating every page with visceral weight. Readers can feel the sadness deep in their bones. But while the book is difficult, it's a unique and necessary view of teenage mourning. It follows Karmen, whose brother died by suicide before the book begins, as she journeys to find a reason for his decision. Why is he gone? What did she miss? How can she move on? Mather deftly threads the needle between idolizing lost loved ones and acknowledging their humanity. Karmen's brother Julian isn't put on a pedestal. She remembers the positive memories, the happy conversations and joyous moments, but doesn't shy away from the everyday fights and conflicts that naturally happen in families. As Karmen searches for answers, Mather lays out a stage full of despair, defiance, abandon, and peace. It's not an easy ride, but a glimpse into the aftermath of trauma is worth the heartache. VERDICT A potent portrait of grief and loss, for stout-of-heart teenagers only.-Cat McCarrey

Copyright 2024 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

April 15, 2024
Grades 9-12 *Starred Review* After her brother's death by suicide, Karmen is left adrift with only one question anchoring her: Why? While her parents deal with their grief in their own ways, Karmen finds herself suspended from school and with plenty of time to investigate what pushed Julian to make his final choice. With a tender plot, Mather (Facing the Sun, 2020) captures the breathless rage that unexpected loss and guilt can bring. A well-rounded cast of complex characters adds nuance to the challenging and engrossing topics of sibling loss and suicide, all contemplated through Karmen's observant, but still coming-of-age perspective, and relayed through an authentic voice. The content's heaviness finds levity with the book's sunny Nassau, Bahamas setting and with character details such as Karmen's love of knitting, her quiet crush on her best friend's brother, and the skateboarding community into which Karmen is folded as she explores--and tries on--her brother's life. The book also offers strong discussion around managing mental health, depicting talk and art therapy among other strategies. Readers will enjoy the book's satisfying plot and thematic endings. Hand to fans of Erika L. S�nchez's I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter (2017) and Sarah Everett's How to Live without You (2022), whether they enjoyed the mystery, the mental-health focus, or the true-to-life voices.

COPYRIGHT(2024) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.